Puns

1. A bicycle can’t stand alone; it is two tired.
2. A will is a dead giveaway.
3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
4. A backward poet writes inverse.
5. In a democracy it’s your vote that counts; in feudalism, it’s your Count that votes.
6. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
7. If you don’t pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
8. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
9. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I’ll show you A-flat miner.
10. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
11. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
12. A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.
13. You are stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.
14. Local Area Network in Australia : The LAN down under.
15. He broke into song because he couldn’t find the key.
16. A calendar’s days are numbered.
17. A lot of money is tainted: ‘Taint yours, and ‘taint mine.
18. A boiled egg is hard to beat.
19. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
20. A plateau is a high form of flattery.
21. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison: a small medium at large.
22. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
23. When you’ve seen one shopping center you’ve seen a mall.
24. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.
25. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she’d dye.
26. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
27. Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses.
28. Acupuncture: a jab well done.
29. Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet.

And now you know.

Virtual Pound

A clip from a local news program on some new technology for Kung Fu at the Olympics.
But watch what happens towards the end of the clip... are you serious!?! The streets have known that hand shake to be official for a long time. Now its officially official.

(That is me chuckling at the end.)




And now you know.

speaking of letters...

Pulled E-N-N out of the bag and there it was:



If that V had been an M...whoa!

And now you know.

The letter m

always catches my eye...


And now you know.

Reassuring

I stumbled across this on the sidewalk today. It was as if i was looking down at an Ed Ruscha painting.
Nice moment.

And now you know.

Wookies

Nothing screams "Take my political convictions seriously" like an inverted bus welded to a bus:





Phish MUST be in town...

And now you know.

Brilliant

And now you know.

Lesbos and the Lesbians.

Now this is my kind of humor. I can see the weekend update segment playing in my head.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/7520343.stm





And now you know.

Fleece

My favorite part about all this, is that the BBC media player's volume goes to eleven!






And now you know.

So Typical

This is such a classic Yankee pick up right here...
Go after the washed up old guys! Prove me wrong Richie.
It makes sense though I guess. Get a righty that is proven against left-handed pitchers. Who would have thought the big issue this year would be the bats?
Actually for the most part our pitching has been fine. We could use a hard throwing starting lefty but, the bullpen has been pretty good.
So, looks like Richie Sexson is a Yankee.

And now you know.

Who doesn't like...

Animal Quick Facts

1. Humpback whales create the loudest sound of any living creature.

2. A giant squid’s eyes have a diameter of 15 inches which are the largest of any animal.

3. 3 out of 10 Dalmation dogs suffer from hearing loss due to inbreeding.

4. The African Elephant has a gestation period of 22 months while a short-nosed bandicoot gestates for 12 days.

5. The mortality rate if bitten by a Black Mambo snake is over 95%.

6. A dog’s sense of smell is 1,000 times stronger than humans.

7. Hummingbird’s consume half of their weight in food daily.

8. A cockroach can survive for about a week without its head before dying of starvation.

9. The whale shark has over 4,000 teeth. Each tooth is only 3mm long.

10. Polar Bears are capable of jumping as high as 6 feet and can run as fast as 25mph.

11. The ‘crosshairs’ of gun sights were made of spider web filaments until the 1960’s.

12. Mosquitos are attracted most to the color blue.

13. The heart of a shrimp is located in its head.

14. Some frogs are able to be frozen and then thawed, and continue living.

15. A goldfish is the only animal that can see infrared and ultraviolet light.

16. A snail can sleep for 3 years.

17. There are 701 types of pure breed dogs.

18. The fastest bird, the spine-tailed swift, can fly as fast as 106mph.

19. A cow gives nearly 200,000 glasses of milk in her lifetime.

20. A newborn kangaroo is about 1 inch in length.

21. In 1872, a virus epidemic killed a quarter of all the horses in the United States.

22. A woodpecker can peck 20 times per second.

23. An electric eel can produce a shock of up to 650 volts.

24. Camels have three eyelids to protect themselves from blowing sand.

25. Cojo, the 1st gorilla born in captivity, was born at the Columbus, Oho Zoo in 1956 and weighed 3 1/4 pounds.

26. Dragonflies are one of the fastest insects, flying 50 to 60 mph.

27. Every year, $1.5 billion is spent on pet food. This is four times the amount spent on baby food.

28. It takes a lobster about seven years to grow to be one pound.

29. Large kangaroos can cover over 30 feet with each jump.

30. Of all known forms of animals life ever to inhabit the Earth, only about 10 percent still exist today.

31. On average, pigs live for about 15 years.

32. Sharks apparently are the only animals that never get sick. They are immune to every type of disease including cancer.

33. A chameleon’s tongue is twice the length of its body.

34. Male seahorses produce offspring.

35. Giraffes have no vocal cords.

36. Elephants have been known to remain standing after they die.

37. An albatross can sleep while flying.

38. A mosquito has 47 teeth.

39. Research indicates that mosquitoes are attracted to people who have recently eaten bananas.

40. The sex organ on a male spider is located at the end of one of its legs.

41. Armadillos, opossums, and sloth’s spend about 80% of their lives sleeping.

42. The ears of a cricket are located on the front legs, just below the knee.



And now you know.